Tales from the Lilypad: a Halloween Special
by Mizuzu Pelagos
Summary: Keroro and his friends have another scary story contest. Who will win? Rated T for mild language and violence, suggestive humor, gore, and ill-advised OCs
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Keroro Gunso/Sgt. Frog. All rights belong to Mine Yoshizaki**

* * *

It was a rough month; Keroro had a mountain of chores to do, so he couldn't do much invading. Natsumi and Fuyuki had papers and projects to work on, and Aki's manga artists went on overtime multiple times. The ARMPIT Platoon also had to fight off some Vipers, including a couple we might meet later. And since Halloween was coming, Keroro had a perfect idea: hold a scary story contest to help everyone unwind. Winner gets a free spot at Momoka's hot springs!

When Halloween finally came, Koyuki decided to host the event at a house in the woods for good atmosphere. As the contestants all gathered around, Keroro stood on a platform, and said:

"Ok, it's 8pm. Perfect time to host a scary story contest! Remember the rules: all the storytellers but Fuyuki will compete, for relative fairness, and then Fuyuki will give us the best nightmares ever with his tale after we pick the winner. Everyone will vote after the contest on the winning story, winner gets these free tickets to Momoka's hot springs. Any questions? Oh, Momoka, what's your question?"

"What if I win? I can already go there for free."

"Oh... good point."

"I have an idea, if I win, one of you will have to work at my house for a week! Deal?"

"Um... deal."

Keroro deepened his voice: "Kululu! Spin the Wheels of Misfortune!"

The Wheels of Misfortune is a series of wheels Kululu created to determine the order of the whole contest, as randomly as possible. Kululu decided not to rig the wheel, reasoning that the first storyteller gets the most pressure, and therefore the most stage fright. And telling a story while showing fear is never a good idea. Kululu then spun the wheels, and everyone watched in awe. After a few minutes (it's a complex technology), the first person was Natsumi, and the others soon followed.

Keroro spoke, "Well, it appears Natsumi is the first tortu-I mean storyteller. You ready?"

"Oh hell yes! I've got a story that will make you sweat _blood!"_ Natsumi then breathed in...

* * *

 _ **Natsumi Presents: The Evil Monster Man of Hokkaido!**_

 _There was once a man who worked a market in rural Hokkaido. Legend had it that, underneath the market, was an evil king who could strangle even the strongest men to death. One day, the man decided to check it out. He dug a hole outside the market. For days and days he toiled, but he came across nothing._

 _One week after finishing, he noticed a slip of paper with a black dot and the time 18:32. This man never learned what it meant, so he merely tossed it aside. Later, when the time came, he saw nothing. He felt like it was some kind of trick to scare him. And it was true, the note was a lie... THE GHOST OF THE EVIL KING CAME FIVE MINUTES LATER! And ghost floated right at him! He merged with the man, and now this man scours the Earth for people to eat and use as house building material! He took on the form of an green alien frog! And that's why they call him "The Evil Frog Monster Man of Hokkaido"!_

"I'm the villain of this story?! Are you froggin' **serious**?"

"Uhh, yeah. You are the enemy after all. Anyway, how was my story everybody?"

Fuyuki was the first to offer his opinion: "I hate to side with the enemy, but I think Sarge is right. Your story was a joke!"

"I thought it was boring, too." Saburo said. Natsumi was heartbroken.

Natsumi sighed, "Oh well, I guess it's time for the next contestant. Who's up?"

"I think it's Giroro's turn."

Giroro stood up. "Alright! Grab your popcorn, cuz old man Giroro's got a real zinger tonight!" Everybody was excited to hear Giroro's story.

* * *

 _ **Giroro Presents: The Legend of King Kilolo**_

 _Back in the glory days of old Keron, there was the a warrior called Kilolo, so called because he once defeated a thousand soldiers in one battle, for which he was named High King of Keron. He had all of Keron under his fist and a beautiful wife named Natsutsu, who was born in the summer. Little did he know, that it would all come to an end. For there was a Captain among his army named Geroro, who-"_

"Oh come on, now! I'm the villain again?!"

"Keroro, let me finish, you're not the big villain. Anyway, _Captain Geroro got wind of a giant sea cucumber monster. It's slimy appendages could shoot hard enough to break brick walls. Geroro, unsurprisingly, challenged Kilolo to slay this mighty beast, for it was said that this beast contained a pot of gold for its brain. Kilolo and his men soon marched on, thinking he could defeat this creature. However, he came across it by accident, in a rice field. The giant slug-monster-thing was upright, and had a Viper-like grin on its face, s or twotrangling a citizen. He spoke to him: "Hey dude, you wanna piece of me?" And then he destroyed all his weapons and ate his shield. He then grew an arm, and GRABBED KILOLO! AAAAAGH THE HORROR! And then he injected poison into him and-th-th-then he just DIED! And the-the-the monster ate Geroro too. The End!"_

"That wasn't scary in the slightest, just stupid." Tamama commented.

"But that's what sea cucumbers do, even in cooked form, don't they?"

"OH MY GAWD! HA HA HA HA! That's even lamer! Have you even seen a cooked sea cucumber? They aren't even alive!" Tamama laughed hard, and now the others were laughing as well, until they realized who was next: Kululu!

"I'm starting to get scared. Kululu's up." Momoka said; "Hold me, Fuyuki!"

"Ku ku ku, here we go:"

* * *

 _ **Kululu Presents: The Party! Ku ku ku!**_

 _Once there were five sexy ladies. There was also a handsome love guru named Gururu. The five lades had a fresh lesboriffic party when Gururu came in and said "Hey ladies. I've got something for-_

"Okay, your story is looking to be even less scary than Giroro's, unless it's precisely the wrong kind of scary you're aiming for. Also, is your story just an excuse to reveal your creepy fantasies?" Dororo asked, cringing at the thought of where the story would go next.

"Oh, don't worry, it's going to be really sexy. As I was saying, _so Gururu came in and said "Hey woomies, wanna party? I brought th-"_

 _ **WHAM!**_ Natsumi pummeled Kululu into the ground. "I know what you want to do to these women, and I'm not having it, you little squirt."

Kululu just mumbled something.

"Well, that settles it." Keroro announced the next player: "Okay Momoka, you're up."

"Thanks. Ahem!"

* * *

 _ **Momoka presents: The Man from Below**_

 _This story takes place at a college. There was a teacher named Suzuki, who annoyed the classmates daily. One day, she decided to teach a lab class, where the students had to use dangerous chemicals. A boy named Bob had an evil plan: kill the teacher and get the principal to hire a new one. He sent his friend, Ryo, to break into the lab and smuggle out a small flamethrower. He was stalking his teacher to the bathroom when, suddenly, Bob was drawing a hex symbol out of powder; he was hoping to kill the teacher with some curses; Ryo was not informed of this, and was more confused than ever. Bob, eager for some divining tools, snatched the flamethrower from his hand and decided to test it out on the powder. The teacher walked in, frightening Bob, and he dropped the lit burner, setting fire to Suzuki and the powder. KABLAMMO! Bob narrowly escaped the explosion._

 _Months passed. Bob was digging a hole in the ground to finally bury the teacher and Ryo. When he finished, he left the grave. The next night, when he set in a tombstone, a hand burst out of the ground. Ryo, undead, came out of his grave, and swung the tombstone at Bob, breaking his skull._

 _Some say Ryo still lives under Bob's house, and occasionally will go on a killing spree, looking for Bob's friends. And if you look hard enough in the forest, you might see him, watching your every move!_

"AAAAAAH! HE'S COMING!" Keroro saw Ryo coming from the woods, and everybody screamed! Until they discovered it was actually Saburo in makeup and costume.

"Sorry everyone! Momoka wanted me to dress up for the story. She even got a makeup artist to help!"

"You could say, _la conspiración_." Angol Mois opined. "Anyway, who's up next?"


	2. Chapter 2

Keroro peeked at the wheel. "Hmmmm. Dororo's up? This should be fun!"

"First, I'm going to need some atmosphere. Neo Keroro, blow out the fire and turn on the dim light."

"Roger."

* * *

 _ **Dororo Presents: Childhood**_

 _In a small village, there lived a boy named Kelolo. He had a good manservant named Zelolo, who was normally under the beech tree at 2pm. For some reason, he did not arrive until 3. "Hey, Zelolo," Kelolo said, "Why the long journey?"_

 _"I had to wait longer than usual to get your rice balls due to a delay. Also, I got chased by a dog."_

 _"Bummer."_

 _Later that day, Kelolo took a good look at Zelolo's skin: there was a suspicious-looking tear. He was about to touch it when he noticed the real Zelolo walk in, far more beat up than the fake one. "Run, boy! It my evil b-"_

 _The fake Zelolo shot him dead, and tore off his mask. He walked over to the kid, and said "Gimme your lunch money."_

And then Keroro burst out laughing. " **Sweet Purple Mercy!** What kind of line is that? What kind of serial killer would say that to me? Also, kudos for not making me the villain."

Dororo turned red (or purple, since his face is blue?) with embarrassment. "I guess I didn't think the script through."

Koyuki also intervened. "Also, your story was choppy. Dororo, since I'm up, let me show you how it's done!"

* * *

 _ **Koyuki presents: Flowers in the Winter**_

 _Once, upon a bright summer day, Rose lived with her newlywed boyfriend, Orpheus, in Kyushu. They moved here to turn over a new leaf, and be happy. However, her boyfriend was sick: he was not used to the warm climate of Kyushu. Rose then talked to the gods to cool him down, hoping he'd feel better. Unfortunately, Orpheus was an arrogant man, who slighted the gods. So the gods decided to form a snowstorm, blocking Orpheus in. Orpheus tried to sway the gods, but he could not, for they knew his deceit. Later, Orpheus came out into the cold. The gods made him forget his pants, and he froze. The blizzard ended, but Rose's heart wilted, and she never lived a happy life again._

Everyone cried, and applauded. However, nobody thought it was scary. "As much as I loved it," Keroro said, "I don't think you'll win the contest. It's too sad to be scary."

"Allrighty, then. Well, let's see who's next. Saburo, got anything good?"

"Yeah. Fasten your seatbelts!"

* * *

 _ **Saburo Presents: Two Guys, One Death Machine**_

 _There were two famous men. Both of them hated women but tried hard to get wives. One day-_

"Um, Saburo." It was some random tadpole Keronian with dark green skin, a light green hat, and blue waves for his symbol. "I'm not allowed to include your story in this fanfic, since you're using celebrities."

"How did you know?"

"Kululu read your story to me. I liked it, and hated the celebrities involved, but I'm not allowed to include it. Sorry. Tell it to us later."

"Fine. Who are you, anyway?"

"I'm Private 3rd class Otata, and I'm actually slightly older than that Tamama dude. I'm filling in for the normal narrator. I was going to barge in earlier on Kululu's story, but Natsumi took care of it."

Everyone was confused at the new narrator and his mere existence. Natsumi was starting to wonder who the celebrities were, when she heard Tamama speak.

"I'm next, and I'm ready to blow your minds!"

"Are you sure?" Otata said.

"Yes, Private 3rd class Wotata. And so I begin my story."

* * *

 _ **Tamama Presents: Date Nightmare**_

 _It started like an ordinary dream: I was going on my first date with Keroro, walking in Alien Street, Inner Tokyo. We went out to dinner in this fairly fancy-shmancy place called "Le maux d'estomac". Despite the French name, it was not French, but high Keronian cuisine. The décor was your typical modern fancy restaurant style, but the staff seemed suspicious. Anyway, when we got our table, we looked at the menu and started noticing a mysterious cocktail named "The Grander Star". Keroro ordered the Star, while I just settled for an Italian fruit soda. Keroro talked to the waitress, and she told us "We'll serve you well. You could say, siervo real."_

 _Not long before we got our pre-dinner drinks, I went to the bathroom. I noticed that the bathroom decorations were all purple, and there was a picture of our platoon hanging on the wall. "Wonderful!" I thought to myself, "We're celebrities here." By the time I got back, our drinks were arriving. I sat down, and we clicked our glasses. "Cheers, Keroro!"_

 _"Cheers, Tamama!" And we drank._

 _When we were done, I noticed his face changed. "Hey, Keroro," I said, "Your lips look kinda weird."_

 _"Oh, I'm not Keroro. I'm just a cool, old frog man from the lagoon. Ribbity ribbity ribbit."_

 _As I was about to speak, he grew to over 20 feet tall! Then his legs grew longer, and then he sprouted boobs! His face was transforming: it was THAT WOMAN! She then said to me: "Oh hi Tamama. It was nice dating you, but I have to destroy the world today. You could say, te rompo en pedazos!"_

 _After speaking in eighth grader-meets-Google Translate Spanish, she whipped out her Lucifer Spear, and he smashed my face with it, cracking and crushing my skull! She ground my body into a pulp, and ate it. And then-_

"Hang on, Tamama. How did you not wake up when she hit you with the Lucifer Spear? Normally when I die in my dreams I wake up not long before the death happens."

"Dororo, that's what I believed would have happened is That Woman were the one dreaming this."

"Why would I dream that, Tamama? Anyway, it's my turn."

* * *

 _ **Angol Mois Presents: You Could Say, Se Pone Peor**_

 _Once there was a creature named Konatsu, who loved frog baseball a lot._

"Could you change the victim's name to something else?"

"Oh, fine Natsumi. Anyway, _there was a boy named Milt, who loved frog baseball a lot. One day, he discovered a small statue of a frog. It was jade, and looked like a great projectile. So, he broke the statue with his bat, and out came a demon. "Hey, kid." He said. "thanks for freeing me. I'll grant you one wish."_

 _"How about an infinite supply of frogs for frog baseball."_

 _"Absolutely" he said, with a suspicious grin on his face. He magically made a giant frog appear. The giant frog grabbed the boy's bat, and beat him severely!_

"HA HA HA! That was awesome! But it wasn't scary, Angol Mois!" Keroro replied.

"Oh, I forgot we were telling scary stories. Well, I guess it might be really scary for someone who actually likes frog baseball."

"Could we please move on?" Natsumi asked. "

"Sure, Natsumi." Keroro replied. "My story's probably better than hers, anyway. Wanna hear it?"


	3. Chapter 3

"Keroro, your story is not going to be very good. I just know it." Giroro said.

"Oh how wrong you are. Neo Keroro, hand me that flashlight."

* * *

 _ **Handsome Keroro Presents: The Idol**_

 _It was a bright and sunny day. There once lived a human man named Kapapa, who loved digging for treasure, but whose few findings were often stolen by his landlord. This landlord, Mefufu, dreamed of becoming the king of the land._

 _One day, Kapapa was in a valley, when he discovered an old idol. It glowed a faint yellow and green. Kapapa was careful in carrying it home, fearing it may contain an evil genie. His arms ached and his body sweated, but he eventually came home. He cleaned up his house, and went to sleep in the evening._

 _When he finally woke up, it was very dark outside. "Strange," he said to himself. "I went to bed around 10pm. I think I slept about as long as usual. How could it still be dark?" He searched the house for the idol. To his shock, it was missing! "Damn! That landlord must've stolen my findings again! I've had enough!"_

 _And so, he scurried over to the house of Mefufu. The house was bigger than his, and had a polished, gilded door. Kapapa looked into the mirror, and found nothing. "How is it that I have no reflection? Maybe the man used the statue to make me invisible."_

 _Someone tapped on his shoulder: it was a creature that resembled the one depicted by the glowing statue. He screamed and tried to run, but the creature caught him. "Are you the one who dug up the idol?"_

 _"Y...yes"_

 _"Are you telling the truth, or are you just trying to please me?"_

 _"Wait, you're happy?"_

 _"Yeah. As a kami, it's never fun being buried underground, inside an idol. Don't you know? Aren't you buried, too?"_

 _"Whew, that's a re- **what!?** "_

 _Then it hit him like a glove to a boxer's face. " **I'm dead!?** "_

 _"Yep, and soon God knows what would happen to your spirit. I was in this house over here when I met you. Is this yours?"_

 _"No, it's my... landlord's."_

 _"Huh?"_

 _"Don't you see? My landlord probably killed me for your idol. He steals my archeological findings whenever I get something good. I'll wring his neck!"_

 _"I think he left this afternoon."_

 _"Then I'll go find him. Mefufu, your whole family will pay!"_

 _Some say Kapapa is still out there, stalking the field for Mefufu and his family. The landlord had a very large family... and you might be part of it._

The Keronians all shivered with fear. "Oh man, that's the best Kapapa story I've ever heard!"

Even the humans were a little scared, though they did get over it when they remembered they probably wouldn't be related.

"Well, folks, that covers about everybody except this Otata stranger. Wanna join in?"

"You know what, sure."

* * *

 _ **Otata Presents: The Potion**_

 _Once there was a man named Fred, who lived in a trailer park. One day, he met a mysterious creature with a helmet. "Hello, I am Shurara. For discovering me, I will grant you three wishes." Fred beamed with delight, and s-_

Just then the bushes rustled, a loud explosion happened, and a falling branch knocked Otata unconscious. "Oh, thank God. His story was looking to be even dumber than Kululu's." Giroro said.

"Oh no! It's Kapapa! Quick, get the charms." Neo Keroro panicked.

As he spoke, he saw a pair of creatures with snake-like heads: Vipers! Neo Keroro was now even more afraid. "Who is this Kapapa person? How dare you misaddress us!" One of them said.

Tamama was holding Neo Keroro. "Kid, just get ready with your KeroBall. Remember, you're with us."

"Oh, great, a pair of Vipers. Don't be fooled by my stature, I know more martial arts than you ever will." Natsumi threatened.

"Hold on, Natsumi!" Giroro told her. "These ones are from last week. I thought we defeated them and their friends. Oh Lordy! Don't tell me... you're D-Viper and MC Reptile."

"How do you know our street names?"

Dororo spoke up. "I knew it! You're the ones who forced us to sample your budding career in the sort of nu-metal that clueless suburban white American teen boys used to like when we first arrived here. You guys can't sing or rap! And I know this because I listen to Pekoponian radio!"

"Oh, but we're highly authentic at this self-expression game." D-Viper said. "We're here to practice our skills."

MC Reptile was getting a tape. He turned it on, and the sound was the sort of generic hardcore rock backing track that only suburban white people would make. And then came the...err..rapping:

 _Yeah! Yo! D-Viper and MC Reptile_

 _We are the kings of metal and music in gener-ile_

 _We got perfect street cred, here's the credentials_

 _We gots the hookers and blow right here, credentials_

 _We escaped the Viper police, 27 times_

 _We make it rain dollar bills, you just rain dimes_

 _Our swag is godly, just like the Hardcore Viper Party_

 _You ***s got no ****es, you got no party_

 _because you are ****s with too much virginity_

 _We're better than you frogs, we vipers have cool-inity_

 _You have hair l-_

Giroro shot the backing track. "Dororo was right, that was like listening to drunk clowns!" As Giroro said this, Neo Keroro was laughing at the Vipers; even someone as young as him could tell they were terrible!

"Yeah, and what's with all the dumb gay slurs and insults about virginity? Do you guys have no brain?"

"You just can't handle the truth, man."

Natsumi also intervened: "You guys probably aren't even telling the truth."

Meanwhile, Keroro, Neo Keroro and Kululu were sneaking up behind the two Vipers, with their anti-barriers on. Kululu asked Keroro: "Can I try again? I've got a new story idea."

"We've got something bigger to worry about, right now."

"Okay. I'll tell it anyway."

* * *

 _ **Kululu Presents: Snakes in the Grass**_

 _Once upon a time there were two Vipers, whom I'll call B and C. Viper B had a brilliant idea: "I know! Why don't we go to Keron?"_

 _"But why?"_

 _"Duh! So we can kill the Supreme Commander and his friends! That way the Keron Army will be off guard!"_

 _"Oh cool!"_

 _And so, Viper C decided to agree to B's stupid idea and drive to Keron... or try to. Their map was in Native Keronian instead of the Gama they are used to seeing, so C got his directions wrong. So, C and B ended up on Pekopon!_

 _When they made it to this planet, Viper B scoured the area for Keronians to kill. They had no luck. "I don't understand. Why can't we find any Keronians? Did they turn invisible."_

 _Little did they know... a Keronian refugee or two was in their ship, invisible. He was sneaking up to them, and breaking their arm cannons!_

As he spoke, Kululu messed around with the Vipers' arm cannons. The debate was getting intense. "Do you Pekoponians realize our skill here? We're honored by your music and we feel called to it."

Natsumi replied, "Rap wasn't invented in Japan, and even if it was I'd still be hard-pressed to believe that you were honoring us. For starters, you guys can't rap. Or compose backing tracks. Or come up with good insults. And I've met Vipers that were good at insulting me."

"But we really are honoring you guys. We really AAAAAAUUUUGH!"

Neo Keroro and Keroro were beating up the Vipers! Kululu was providing narration: " _The Vipers screamed and hollered for help, but they were so far away from the nearest Viper Station that they could only use their phones... which they did not bring! Before they could get a hold of their phones in the spacecraft, it was too late. The Keronian killed both Vipers quickly and efficiently."_ In reality, Keroro and Neo Keroro weren't killing the Vipers; they were just teaching them a lesson on party crashing! The non-Vipers laughed, and Neo Keroro was not afraid of them anymore. When they finished, they started the interrogation.

Koyuki asked the Vipers, "Why are you guys even here? There's only two of you!"

"We heard from the news that Keroro is the king of Pekopon."

"Unfortunately," Tamama said, "Keroro isn't king yet. He's trying hard, though."

"I knew it! I knew you were assholes."

"But you lost to us! Who's the dummy now?"

The Vipers could not reply to that. Kululu giggled a bit at the realization that his story wasn't all that different from the truth. The Vipers were forced to leave the scene, but only after they gave them a copy of their demo album, _Vipers N Da Hood! Keepin' it Real!_

"Well, it looks like all the stories have been told. So, let's vote!"

* * *

 ** _Whose story did you think was the best? The Worst?_**


End file.
